Insight before Incite
For those of you so keen on speaking with my head turned.
For the ones that want to get so close only to cause mischief to my heart.
For the ones that are just genuinely interested.
Let me save you some time.
Everyone has a story, mine just so happens to be one people are more interested in sharing than hearing.
I’m so used to being characterized as being ‘too nice,’ the ‘good guy,’ which often lead to the assumption that I was gay. These characteristics force people to look past me and miss the important features that make me human, I was made with flaws, I was supposed to make mistakes, but then I also remember that I was destined to conquer them.
I’ll give a quick list of important mistakes I’ve made that have allowed me to become the person I am today, and the person I strive to be.
I abused pornography.
I bullied people with my words.
I’ve lied and cheated to get the outcome I wanted.
I’ve never told anybody these things, I’d feel so ashamed because it’s so degrading to have to admit failures, especially when they keep coming back to haunt you. People might even use them against you as if your mistakes define who you are now and who you will become. In most aspects, Yes, they do help mold you, depending on how much you allow them to influence you.
I admit these now because I don’t want to be summed up by my failures, I don’t want people to define me by what they’ve heard, I want them to see me for who I’ve become, not who I was.
The most beautiful story is a broken one. One that even out of chaos and shattered hearts something spectacular happened. I don’t want my past to be used against me, I want my past to be my weapon. I want people to see that they can talk all they want, but I’m better than all of that. I’m working towards a goal.
I recently found out that someone I hold really important to me was speaking while my back was turned, as if I wasn’t listening.
So this is some insight before incite.